Growing up

Hi friends!

Good morning, afternoon, night, & thanks for stopping by :)

I have been thinking a lot about change and growing up. Currently queuing 'Landslide' to dramatically bawl my eyes out on the train while I write this. Growing up is hard. First, it is your oldest sister moving away to college, splitting your shared clothes, and begging her to come home on weekends. Then your other sister moves away, there are no more game nights, and it is just my parents and I. Family dinners of 5 turned into dinners for 3, the house is always quiet, and I long for nights fighting over what to watch on tv. Then it came my time to move away, and I never fully thought about what it would be like and how hard it would truly be. 

No one writes guidelines on 'how to grow up', explaining the sadness of no longer sharing breakfast with your sisters, carpooling with your best friend to school, seeing your high school friends in the hallways, driving down familiar streets of your neighborhood, and coming home to a parent cooking dinner. These small daily moments I think about when I now do many of these tasks alone, wishing for the company of my closest loved ones. I have made new friends, and surrounded myself with people I can do these mundane tasks with, but there holds a special place in my heart for the people I did it with first. 

I will always cherish my childhood and maintain my relationships that shaped me into the person I am today. Reminiscing, laughing over old stories, and re-hashing the same drama will always be fun. My hometown will always hold a special place in my heart: it is filled with stores I shopped at for hours in middle school, restaurants I went on awkward first dates, and parks my sisters and I choreographed gymnastics routines in. 

Even though growing up is hard, I am grateful to have a foundation of love to grow from. New beginnings and change are opportunities to learn new things and meet new people. "When in doubt, zoom out." There is a life beyond my life situation."  Christine Owen's art always reminds me there is a world way bigger than me. Her art grounds me in the present, encourages me to take change one step at a time, and makes growing up look a little less scary. 

Hope you all resonated with my thoughts and remember to stay in touch with your long- distance loved ones.

Xoxo,

Ava Lillie